Dead Soldier
by Rivetting Silence
Summary: Laika is dead... figuratively. And Enzan decides that the only way to... ressurect him is something big. LaikaEnzan. Bit more than fluff, a lot less than lime. ONESHOT Please RR


"Laika's dead."

"…What?" The duo-shaded net savior dropped his high quality business pen onto the tan-marble floor with a gentle clatter. His eyes focused on those of the brunette for a good long moment, standing up erect. He hadn't noticed that his chair had hit the floor along with the pen.

"Uh—I don't mean that literally!" Netto reassured, hands in the air. "Laika's acting really like a zombie, I mean. Of course, he's usually doing some kind of mapping, military stuff or boring business, which already makes you like a nasty brainless ghoul… no offense."

"I'm sure." Enzan said haphazardly, then regaining his posture. "Now, what do you want me to do about it?"

"Talk to him!" Netto grabbed the older boy's arm tightly.

"What? Wait, why me?" Enzan snapped, reclaiming his arm.

"You can relate to him, that's why!"

"May I ask, 'how'?"

"You both are weighty, serious, drop-dead workaholics without the need to sleep and stuff."

"I'm flattered."

"Let's go, darn it!" before Enzan could protest, Netto stole his arm again, and dragged him with it.

"Hey! Wait!" All the way to Laika's rental, the vice-president whined and griped.

…

"I swear, Hikari, if you don't let go of me right this instant I'll smack you so silly you won't even know what—!"

"Laika, wake up and open up this door!" Netto began to chant and wail, smacking said door without a care in the world about how rickety and rugged and old and ugly it looked.

"N-Netto, you idiot; this is a public area! We'll get in trouble if we make too much noise!" Enzan protested, face red with frustration. Netto snickered, "What the—"

"Don't be such a wet blanket, Enzan. He'll be out in a sec." Netto said nonchalantly…

"…A what?"

…And continued mauling the door to no end.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" came a familiar muffled, irritated cry from the other side. The door swung open ruthlessly, and out came an aquatic-haired soldier in civilian wear. It was a change… it was…

Pleasant.

Although still somewhat overly formal, his button-up white collared shirt hung loosely, not tucked in. He wore… jeans? Yes! He was wearing a pair of jeans, and… and there it was. Enzan felt his face heat up when he'd seen what he saw.

Laika's fly was open…

"L-Laika…good evening." Enzan said slowly, trying to shake the feeling out of him. Not once had he seen Laika out of uniform let alone with peeking under-things. It was a nice change, it made him unexpectedly blush.

"I'm sure it is." Laika said blandly, leaning against the doorframe, giving a joyless smile. He looked very amused. Yes, the half-lidded eyes from sleeping pills pointlessly drugging him to a hangover and the ruffled hair wrote happy-go-lucky all over.

"Laika, what took you so long to open that stupid door?" the brunette broke in between Enzan's musings, which got the boy rather flustered.

"Netto—!" Enzan snapped.

"I was in another room; you could've used the doorbell. Searchman would've notified me."

"Ha! You should keep that door open! What if some mob of nutcases slammed open your door in Sharro? You've got so many rooms in there; you'd probably never even hear it!"

"…I live in a dorm, that argument was pointless." Laika said bored.

"Well, what if you were at _home_, not in a dorm, and a movement of people were raiding your basement?" Netto said in such a way that made it sound like he made an earth shattering statement. Enzan had an eyebrow raised and frowned deeply.

"Are you _kidding me?_" the Ijuuin slapped his forehead.

"I'm sure the shrill _yapping_ of my dog would notify me of a disturbance… Now why are you here?" Netto stopped short of his mindless debate, and smiled, pushing Enzan forward. The Ijuuin yelped, landing into Laika, who blinked.

"He's going to help you with your issues! Bye!" And with that, the Hikari runs away…

"My… issues…" Laika repeated, making Enzan laugh nervously. This was going to be quite the night.

…

"Um… Laika…?" Enzan whispered, crawling through the darkness. Once the bored soldier had told the duo-haired boy to make himself at home, he immediately retired to his room. Enzan, after ten minutes of contemplation, decided not to accept that as that. Muddling through the mild mess in the rental bedroom, he stumbled, and fell.

"Oh, sh—!" his curse was cut short as he felt his arms being grasped tightly. He caught his breath as he grew stiff, waiting for the darkness to let him adapt. The boy gasped as his sight cleared, and was able to glimpse a pair of icy-blue eyes.

"…care to get off me now?" Enzan blinked, realizing that Laika had been supporting his weight for a while. He immediately found the real ground again, gaining a decent posture.

"Um… hey…" He said slowly.

"Hi." Laika was monotone. Enzan frowned, pouting slightly.

"Don't give me that attitude of yours." The Ijuuin said as coolly as possible, seating himself beside the vulnerable soldier. Laika scoffed, and put his hands behind his head, commencing operation S_tare Blankly Towards the Ceiling_.

"…So how're you…" The younger boy started the conversation, grabbing a seat at the foot of the bed. There was a silence, and then another. Realizing that the young soldier would never give him an answer, Enzan took in a deep breath and held it.

_Something must've happened. Laika isn't one to just… die like this…it's just not right…_

He bit his lip, and exhaled, restarting a steady breath. He closed his eyes, placed his elbows on his knees, and head in his hands.

"…Ever had one of those blank minded moments where your brain has no passion to think but none to sleep?" Enzan blinked at the voluntary decision to speak. He maintained his seating, and scoffed. "Or… times when you're listless… whatever…" the Ijuuin smiled rudely to himself.

"Nope, because unlike you, I have a hobby." Laika flinched at the retort, and then, he too, grinned in return.

"And that would be?"

"It would be Solitaire." His voice was cold and blunt.

"Solitaire, is it?"

"Yup; solitaire is my light in the hazy fog."

"…is it now…"

"I've spent unimaginable hours playing an enormous number of games by now. _If_ I didn't have work, this would be one of the things that I'd do, next to Net Battling." Laika rolled his eyes.

"Solitaire; how stupid is that…"

"It's stupid enough to get me through a day."

"Touché."

"You know it."

Laika sighed heavily, and let a silence draw on for a moment. "And I can imagine that some of those hours are equivalent to my blank minded moments lacking… brain-passion and surplus insomnia?"

"Uh… Pretty much." Enzan mumbled nonchalantly.

"…Ha…"

"But it does actually get my brain thinking. My brain never stops working, thank insomnia for that…"

"How nonsensical."

"So solitaire is my insomnia… That should be made into a song." Enzan commented, making Laika scoff and sneer. Enzan laughed at himself. The conversation then drowned into a deep silence for another set of moments.

"…So… how was your fan-freaking-spectacular day?" Enzan exhaled sharply.

"A long day of work; nothing but work, but apparently, my secretary's starting to use a new brand of coffee."

"Fun…"

"I lack quality time with friends." The Ijuuin chuckled.

"Huh…"

Cut and paste another silence here…

"…So how about you?" Enzan twitched, realizing he'd have to wait out another gruelling moment of solid silence.

"…it was…" Enzan perked up, "…Listless." And then perked down.

"…You've completely dropped out of this conversation haven't you?"

"I'm in a bit of a dead zone here, not that I'm drooling like a zombie."

"Really, now; because it certainly seems like it, from the way you're responding and all—oops, I mean _lack_ of response." Enzan said completely dull. This was getting ridiculous.

"Hardeehar… My responses are not nigh, they are simply brief."

"You asked me what I did today and didn't even bother making one."

"Oh, well my apologies, oh great one."

"… You need a vacation…" Enzan sat up, "Come with me to Betonam, I have a business trip there next week, we can go early. You told me you wanted to go there a few—"

"I lost interest in Betonam quite some time ago." Enzan's eyes widened, raising an eyebrow, he said the only thing he could think of…

"Huh?"

"I'm at a lack of pocket change anyway." Laika added sullen.

"… You disappoint me in many ways… I'm starting to think you were replaced by a disappointing alien."

"Is it for my lack of interest in Betonam, my listless depression and my poverty?"

"You… lack _interest_ in a _country_? That's a really stupid point of view."

"It's been cut out of a passion."

"What? Shut up. I don't understand you; I think your lack of sleep is _stupidifying_ you. Go and sleep." Enzan, when confused the point where he finds logic is lost, will silence things; that was what Laika suspected.

"But I lost that interest in Betonam long before my soul got sucked out of me." He expanded.

"Whatever, you're irritating. Go sleep." Enzan grinned in the dark, scoffing at Laika's lame retort.

"I'll sleep when I'm sleepy." The soldier responded, shifting on the mat.

"And you're not?"

"No, no I am not."

"Then why are there so many blanks? I doubt you aren't tired. Oh forget it, keep staring and drooling until you finally realize that your brain has been shut off." Enzan stood up with a mumble. About to leave, he felt a tug at the back of his shirt. He turned around, somewhat hopeful.

"… I'm not staring and drooling, hardly brain-dead yet." Once again disappointed, he reclaimed his rightful place on the carpet.

"I'm surprised at your lack of snappy responses; I was expecting them back when I called you irritating."

"Snappy?"

"You know, that's how you usually respond. A better word would be a—"

"I get the point."

"I can assume that sleepiness has degraded you into a docile lamb." Laika rolled his eyes.

"I'm not tired—"

"I don't believe you" Enzan retorted. "This is getting really stupid and ridiculous."

"I'd sleep if I was." The Ijuuin scoffed, trying to stay calm.

"I know what it means to keep staying awake despite sleep calling you."

"I can assure you that my mind is working at full capacity." Laika mumbled, shifting at his bed again.

"Ha! Rethink that if you please."

"Ugh… I'm just having a momentary lapse of… attitude adjustment…?"

"…and this is full capacity?"

"There's no other way to put it," Laika shrugged.

"Even I'd say I'm not working at full capacity, otherwise we wouldn't be having this pointless conversation, and I never would've given into that dumb Netto." Enzan returned the shrug, "One only uses ten percent of their brain anyway."

"Fine—I'm working with all ten percent I've got…. Makes you wonder what the rest is for…"

"Uh… It's the muscle control and all that involuntary stuff."

"…ha…"

"Moron."

"Shut up..."

Enzan blinked, and then smiled silently to himself.

He had an idea.

"…You're a dumbass caught in the headlights, aren't you…?" Enzan chuckled. Laika lifted his upper body up with his arms and gave a good glare at the Ijuuin.

"_Excuse_ me?"

Enzan spun around to sneer Laika in the face. "You heard me, you brainless zombie." The soldier crept closer to the Ijuuin and snarled at him. "You mind numbing, boring little twit."

"You take that back!" His voice rose, and Enzan shrugged, his grin less than faltering. He took a seat next to Laika on the bed, legs crossed, hand patting the other boy's back obnoxiously as if to say 'its okay if you're boring!'

"What if I don't?" He tilted his head to the side. "Are you going to hit me? Oh wait, you're too _dead_ to do that. I don't think its listlessness, I think its apathy. You're nothing but a lazy bum, full of excuses, aren't you?"

"No I'm not!" Said Laika, flustered, he sat up on his bed, fists clenched over the bed sheets, and he leaned forward and stared Enzan straight in the face. Apparently, it was one of the intimidating tactics he learned…

It didn't work.

"Lazy, lifeless zombie without a decent excuse as to why. Where'd your brain go? Did you sell it for fifty cents? Wait; do you even know how much fifty cents is anymore?"

Oh hell, no.

"You shut up right now, or I'll shove that snappy tongue of yours so far down your throat you'll be feeling it in your p—" Before he could finish his audacious retort, said tongue was shoved so far down _his_ throat, he was cut off completely. Before he could take in what had just happened, a warm sensation ran through his body (mostly his midsection), as his arms involuntarily wrapped around the other boy's, hitting the pillow head first.

Finally taking in everything, his tongue played with the other's, in warmth that made his face heat up. He flinched as he felt cold hands touch his collarbone, stroking ghostly, making him shudder.

More teasing was made, until neither could breathe, and Enzan pulled away, landing next to the older Net Saver. Both drew in deep breaths for a time, until Laika finally spoke.

"W-wow… that was…"

"…Sh…Shut up…" Enzan retorted, face red and flustered, turning his face in the other direction. "…Want me to leave?" He sat up, but was instantly pulled down onto the other boy again. The Ijuuin made his face blank, while staring coldly at Laika, who stared all the same.

Not another silence…

"Look…" Enzan started slowly, "I didn't mean to do it. I just… didn't know what more to do. I wanted to snap you out of your little… phase… and I didn't mean to do that."

"You shoved your tongue down my trachea."

"… Shut up. Can I go now?" Before he could move an inch, he froze, feeling heat slide across his face; he felt himself press against the other boy, whom unexpectedly pulled him in again. This time, not into him, but into the bed.

Laika was on top of him.

"_Laika, get off of me!_" Enzan's face was flustered, and he struggled. "You proved your point, okay? I'm sorry! I'll never do that again!" He felt the weight retreat, and he sat up, sighing in relief. "…Uh… S-sorry, okay?" He said. Both took in a breath, letting it out at the same time. "Laika…" Enzan started. "I…"

Laika tilted his head up, gazing into the dark shadows in his room. "…I like you too." He turned his head to look at the younger Net saver and smiled. A stroke of red tinted the Ijuuin's cheeks as he returned the gesture. Their eyes returned to each other's respective darkness', and a comfortable silence drew long and hard.

"…So…" Enzan muttered.

"…" With not response, Enzan looked at Laika and smiled deviously.

"You still dead—?"

"Shut up!"

- Owari -

This is very relative to a conversation with a friend of mine. I was the dead one—uh… it was very accurate up to the point where tongues are involved. Otherwise that'd be a little weird… Plus we were chatting on the net.

I haven't updated my other fan stories in a while. I hit a writer's block for them. They're not on hiatus, but my muse is on other things right now. Don't need to worry about the block, my focus has just deviated. I promise you; I'll update.

Review please!


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